I would really love to hear from others if you feel we were used as pawns on both sides? Although we were in the focus of 11 elections, and the presidential election, it seemed that there were few gays/lesbians out there really speaking out...except maybe Mary Cheney.

I'm still trying to grasp my true thoughts...but some of my first random thoughts follow...

During each debate, I felt both sides felt awkward discussing gays...there was not a very good level of comfort. I find that when you truly believe your issue, you tend to speak more comfortably, and that has a tendancy to put people more at ease.

Silence in the gay community. Although we pushed hard for KERRY/EDWARDS, we remained silent...I'm just as guilty. I now wonder if that was wrong. Perhaps we missed an opportunity to go public and let the country see the FACE OF GAY AMERICA, and hear what we want.

I may be in the minority of the gay community and would seriously like to find out if I am. Personally, I don't think marriage is necessary...meaning, I don't think churches should be forced to marry gays....however, I do believe that gays should be able to enter into a civil union that INCLUDES FEDERAL BENEFITS....from taxation to social security, etc. We pay into it, we should benefit from it as should our partners.

In the next four years I believe we have the very real task to become more visible, more outspoken (if that's possible), and not let the politicans speak for us....

Just my thoughts....

No one -- I repeat -- no one is saying churches should be required to marry anyone! The issue is rights -- not special rights for gay and lesbian couples, but equal rights for all.

Here are just a few of the more than 1,049 federal rights that straight married couples are granted on day one of their marriages, but that we are denied no matter how long we are together because we cannot obtain CIVIL marriages (not church marriages) through our state governments:

* Visitation rights should our partner be hospitalized
* Inheritance from a partner under state intestate laws (which take effect when one dies without a will)
* Denial of community property rights in community property states
* Being able to make medical decisions for our partners in emergencies
* Being able to get wrongful death benefits as a surviving partner through wrongful death suits (gay people whose partners died in 9/11 have been fighting this battle in NY)
* Lack of access to the federal Medical Leave Act benefits
* Inability in many states to adopt the children of our partners
* Denial of shared federal benefits like Social Security and Medicare
* Inability to avoid estate, inheritance, and other taxes that married couples are not assessed

And because we can't obtain civil marriages, we also don't have any certainty that our domestic partnerships or civil unions will be legally recognized in other states. That means that if my partner and I ever have to move back to the state where our parents live to take take care of them as they get older, we will lose whatever protections we have under CA law.

So when people say we should get over not having these rights, I think to myself, that is very easy to say when you have them.

Edie

I do believe we were used as pawns. However I don't believe gays were silent. We're a minority and a small one at that and people just don't want to listen to us. I mean sure people like listening to Melissa Etheridge and Rosie O'Donnel, but the minute they start talking about gay rights, no one wants to listen to them. And the Indigo Girls are vocal and speak out every chance they get, but they're ignored.

What we need are allies.

Please Gay people

it was a Nazi 101 playbook

I am gay and know

this guy is using the original playbook to divide while

people think he is a uniter !

archie bunker

Just remember, every pawn can be a future QUEEN!

I have spoken with several politicians and we will be taken seriously when as a group we turn out to volunteer for their campaigns. I do not mean as indivisuals as many of us did but as blocks of people working together through groups such as stonewall democrats and other GLBT political groups. Join one and force the local canidates to take you seriously as a voting block. They did in Travis County. The ones who wanted our support came to meetings and answered questions about our issues before recieving our endorsement. I am happy to say that many local canidates were elected and Travis county was the only county in Texas that voted for Kerry/Edwards. If we can do it, then others can also.

I think we stayed quiet because the Democrats really wanted us to, and we really wanted Kerry to win. We have paid a heavy price for that, too, and I hope our leadership doesn't make that mistake again.

We also just don't have very many high-profile spokespeople. Every mainstream story on gay rights quotes either Cheryl Jacques or Barney Frank, or both. We need more, and better, spokespeople.

Anyone who thinks gay leaders stayed quiet. Is definitely deeply buried in some gay ghetto, and doesn't ever read the news.

To the rest of America. Gays were the group. That just would NOT shut up about anything. We demanded they confront issues. They were not ready to address.

We just don't get it. Sexuality is something they'd rather not discuss. Why do we think they want to discuss homosexual rights.

Their response was expected. We shoved it in their faces one too many times, and they took it. Ripped it up. Threw it back at us.

Most gays do not "shove their sexuality" in people's faces. And the gays who do speak out, should. We are not wrong when we say that we want the right to marry. So stop complaining.

WELL HELLO!!!! i believe that the vibrant LGBTQ communities were vocal and OUT and proud!!! WHAT WENT WRONG ???? simply it was the 11 referenda questions put on 11 state ballots to insight hatred and fear in "MIDDLE AMERICA"(by the homohobic republicans) in no way shape or form does the LGBTQ communites want SPECIAL RIGHTS we are simply asking for EQUAL RIGHTS !!!!
In regards to cheney's daughter ......GOD DONT GET ME STARTED !!!! ITS TIME FOR HER TO SPEAK OUT!!!! :angry:

I respectfully disagree. I certainly don't think Kerry supported us because it was the popular thing to do.
Well, I don't think Kerry is uncomfortable about gays, but he had to be VERY careful with what he said on the issue. Hell, he praised Dick Cheney for being a good father and they later screamed at him for it. WTF?!? I mean, Teresa goes around telling queers they can call her "Mama T," so I really don't think they have an issue.

I almost always saw numerous rainbow or HRC sign at rallys, but I was looking for them. I never saw one for Bush, but I am sure they wouldn't even be allowed in.
Yea, I hear you. I think you might be suggesting that the government shouldn't issue any marriages, just calling them Civil Unions for queers and straight people. I couldn't agree more.

Good points.

I think Nov. 2 was a sad day for the world. I spoke with some Bush supporters about the gay issue, and sadly for all of you, you are still not considered anything close to normal or equal in their eyes. It disgusts me that a president is encouraging the country to remain prejudice against gays, and its tearing our country apart. Blacks, gays, whatever...we are all equal regardless of our color or our sexual preferances. When speaking to a bush supporter the other day the issue came up about gays walking hand and hand, and that it shouldn't be allowed because they don't want to see it. That comment threw me. I didn't realize until this election that there are still so many people that are that way. I was thinking, what about a mixed couple then...can they not walk hand and hand also? And what about a great looking guy and an ugly girl...should they not be allowed to be together because someone doesn't "understand" or "want to see it"? I'm disgusted with my fellow americans, and I want all of you to know that that the smart americans believe you should have every right that the rest of us do. I wish there was an end in sight for you.

As for Kerry, I don't think Kerry has an issue with gays at all, but just from the votes, I can see why he was afraid to speak on your behalf too loudly. Sadly, as I mentioned, there are too many people that still want to keep you down. I think Kerry would have done good if he would have gotten there. The gay issue is tough, because there are just too many people against you.

Heh, and you're talking about the same people who go around screaming that this is the most free country in the world and if we don't like it, we should "move to Canada." I truly loath people like that.