July 16, 2005

From this day forward
By PEGGY TOWNSEND
Sentinel staff writer
Today, Lillian Flores and Ron Adkins will be married.

Like most couples, they will profess their love and be pronounced man and wife, and people in the audience will cry.

But unlike some others, their marriage did not come easily.

Having cerebral palsy, a condition that makes everyday things like eating and talking and having a job hard, did the same thing to love.

They met on a bus in San Jose 15 years ago, both of them on the way to work.

Lillian glanced over at him, a handsome man with light brown hair and the body of a bird.

"Welcome," he said.

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Lots of people have trouble understanding Ron.

But not Lillian.

They became friends, even when Ron left the group home where he lived and moved to Santa Cruz with the help of a program called Oceanside Supported Living.

They would talk on the phone every day, remembers Josh Roton, who was Ron’s live-in support staff then.

On weekends, Lillian, who uses a wheelchair most of the time but can get around with a walker, would come from San Jose to visit Ron.

It would take her three bus changes to cover the 30 miles.

"We worried about her," says Craig Valenta, who now works for both Ron and Lillian.

But she wouldn’t be stopped.

About two years ago the two pledged their love in a commitment ceremony with not a single person as witness.

But not everyone believed true love could happen to two people who needed help getting dressed and getting up in the morning. There were worries that the SSI they relied on could be cut severely if they became husband and wife.

Lillian, 35, and Ron, 48, who have had their disabilities since birth, know about persistence, however. The money they would lose — not as much as first believed — was simply the price of love, they decided.

They will be married at 2 p.m. at Greyhound Rock State Park with 50 people in attendance.

Lillian will wear white, and Ron will be in a tuxedo with a purple tie and vest.

Friends are donating the cake and the flowers, and they got the Soquel Grange Hall for free for their reception.

They’re off to Tahoe for their honeymoon. Roton and his wife are taking them.

Sitting in motorized wheelchairs under the shade of a redwood tree at their small apartment, Lillian says she loves Ron because he is easygoing and very open.

"He’s so wonderful," she says and reaches out a bent hand to tap Ron gently.

He smiles.

Ron says he loves Lillian because "she never gets mad. We can talk about everything together."

"We waited for this day for a long time," he says in the slow, deliberate way he has of talking.

Roton will play the wedding march on his ukulele.

And Ron is sure he will cry.

Lillian too.

"It will be the best day of our lives," she says.


Contact Peggy Townsend at ptownsend@santacruzsentinel.com.