knowing is not always understanding...

knowing one is always mortal and sometimes foolish
the one being me with a vague recognition that we are
all stuck together with this same fate
whether that fate is the blame of a higher power
or just plain some random curse of an alleged
higher ability to reason into this unreasonability...

oh now relax, i don't blame the almighty for not making me
an immortal, nor rich or handsome in the classic sense
in the often demented lottery of genetic and random selection
i got a pretty okay deal and a damn sight better than most.

my curse is a strange altruism, cynicism, and lack of certain
social graces many possess in far greater degrees than i
and i am as impatient as what should be a blest hungry child
for others to see things as I would have them also see...

in this our too often greyish world
it is the violence and the inhumanity
i do not understand
g-d i want to be a pure ghandi-esque pacificist
but my nature says too often that attack
calls for counter-attack
and i know that counter-attack calls for
escalation from another who was willing to strike out
for the first time to begin the damn cycle
of strike and strike back.

and the degrees in which to strike back
to defend from an unwarranted attack
or pre-empt an opening assault from another
the classic afraid someone might get my better...

but i know the skyscraper spiral upward
of strike and strike back
i know of limits
i know of big words like diminishing returns
it is then to teach others i think
the limits, the higher and higher consequences
of the rise of strike and strike back,
and when i speaking of teaching
it is not my wisdom to teach
but leaning on others more wise
to teach me these things as well.

these things to include humility
and knowing i and we all have possess
much indeed to be humble about.

poetpj 11142005 1325