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Activisms
http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4046&n=1

QUOTE
"When the average citizen hears the phrase 'presidential election,' he thinks of long lines at polling places and agonizing waits as election results are tallied," U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) told reporters Monday. "Putting the election of our public officials into the hands of private industry would motivate election officials to be more efficient."

"There's too much talk about the accuracy and fairness of our national elections, and not enough about their proficiency and profitability," Santorum added. "Who bears the brunt of bureaucratic waste? Taxpayers."

U.S. Sen. Conrad Burns (R-MT) called for an end to "big government overseeing the election of big government."

"It's time we opened the election process to competition," Burns said. "The free market is the petri dish for innovation, be it in telecommunications, the healthcare system, or democracy."

Burns said that, to create healthy market activity, each congressional district should be able to collect bids and offer contracts to the company that can offer the lowest prices and the best service.

"Look at the voter turnout we had this year," Burns said. "Less than 60 percent of the population voted, and that number is still the highest it's been since 1968. Contractors should get a cut based on the number of votes their machines record. That way, they'd have a monetary incentive to get more Americans to the polls."

Although legislation has not yet been drafted, several companies have hired development teams to draw up proposals for the takeover of the electoral process.

"Voters need an incentive to get to the polls," said potential contractor Fred Mitchelson of Accenture, formerly Arthur Andersen. "It's not like the old days when people were motivated by a sense of civic pride—that's just too Waltons. We're in negotiations to partner with Best Buy. Under our plan, every voter would receive a coupon for 20 percent off any purchase up to $500—it would actually pay to go to the polls! It'd be great exposure for Best Buy and a fantastic opportunity for us to hit and exceed that magic six-zero. Oh, and this whole registration thing has gotta go."

Mitchelson said prior elections failed to take advantage of the "vast potential for corporate tie-ins and advertising revenue."

"There is a lot of untapped revenue in elections," Mitchelson said. "We could get sponsorship for every blank surface in the polling place easily—I mean everything, from the back of the ballot to the curtain itself. If we really want to break out of the box, we don't even have to stop at surfaces. We could pipe music by Sony recording artists into the voting booths.""


Insane? Yes. What they want? Its what the neo cons want. That way, nobody could get caught, there are thousands, more possibly millions stonewalling against it.
PaineInTheArse
Wiseass :o

And for a true picture of goings-on inside the White House, go to www.whitehouse.org
inquiringmind
Please note that both The Onion and www.whitehouse.org should not be viewed by those under the age of 18.

The Onion also did a great story on John Kerry's capture of Osama Bin Laden.
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