I have just about convinced myself to plant some corn tomorrow. I'll have to do it the old fashioned way poking a stick in the ground then inserting a seed.

I got two mechanical planters; an IH56 two row planter for planting acerage and I bought an old (It says it was made in 1918) Planet Jr. two row vegtable planter to do my market garden with. I got a walk behind dribble planter too but the first and last time I used it I left the experience wishing I could put my hands around the neck of the individual who designed it.

The IH56 would be like using a Mack truck to deliver an ice cube so it's out of consideration. My Planet Jr. would be ideal but is waiting on my son-in-law to help me weld up a specialty tool bar to fit my tractor to mount the planter units on.

I guess if any of the neighbors drive past and see me out in the field poking seed in the ground by hand they will probley figure that old Marine that lives at the big old house on the hill has finally gone nuts.

Once Globalchinese teaches you how to use RSS, maybe you can teach us. What is RSS supposed to do?

All news organization get their news mostly from AP and Reuters downloading it from an "RSS feed." I think this relies heavily on Java script, but am not sure. And once we get this far in talking about it, I'm lost. I wish I could meet Globalchinese and have him over to work on my computer and show me how to do this. But that's not likely to happen. But rest assured, once I learn how to do it, I will keep you posted in layman's language.

It's been a while since I planted corn. How many rows are planning on planting by hand? Son-in-law is too busy?

I can live without seeing Patricia Richardson nekkid, thank you. You see, my dirty picture made a political statement, while your dirty pictures are just PORN!




Thanks for the update, Snuffy, and all my sympathies on the croup-crud. I'm a couple of days ahead of you on the recovery front, and, believe me, it does get better.

I Love growing and picking corn. Wife was brought up on a serious working dairy farm where anyone growing corn (except a limited amount of cow corn) was considered sinfully extravagant.

We always used to have a patch on our acre. That area is raspberries now.

Cardinal ---> Finally someone else who has fond memories of growing potatos. I do too. Most people remember it mostly as back-breaking work. I always loved my potato patch but boy that is a lot of work for something you can just pick up at Shaws for a couple bucks. They are really attractive plants too. There's nothing like little fresh potatos out of the ground.

My non-negotiable crop is Thai hot peppers. They were a little attenuated last year because I planted them next to sweet peppers. This year they are going to be hotter than Pegatha's penguin.

So, are you saying that you're attracted to my penguin? Hmmm. Have to analyze that.

Well, he's always busy. If he wasn't busy I'd have him over here welding up a tool bar for me. That would make my life simple then. My daughter is suspose to come by, I might surprise her with "Could you help out Pop for a bit?"; it will be good for her soul.

I am going to try and plant about 10 50 foot rows, or I may go for 20 25 foot rows. On sweet corn the more concentrated you get it the better the polination and the fuller the ears.

1875..

getting there, but you guys sure aren't as mouthy as the night crew !

Time is running out ....

Maybe these friends of Peg's can help things along ...

Hello!!! Joe duct taped me to the wall - Had a heck of a time getting myself undone...Thanks for all your help folks!

Oh and Des - better monitor your computer..just think if "the little woman" see's Peg's picture..hah..you thought she was mad at you before...her bleeding ulcer will be the least of your bleeding problems....

I shouldn't have picked on you when you're sick Sorry. I just get frustrated, as most of us that post in this thread do, about the vast number of repetitious postings in the Cafe, when there are great subforums for them instead - and many times the same material has been already posted in that forum.

Ok, off my soap box for now.

Well, you needed the help so I obliged... joe e

Did you hurt yourself when you fell off?

See back, ornery as ever.

About the RSS feed. I'm assuming that he has a program similar to what I use (NetNewsWire Lite) which collects postings from web sites you select. Most sites will have a little link somewhere on the page that says "rss" or "xml" (there are others for Yahoo and AOL). What I do is right click on the link and then navigate to my news program, click "subscribe" and that's it. I have it set to check for new postings every five minutes. Some people have hundreds of subscriptions, but I just like to have no more than what fills my screen and that's it.

Really easy to do and saves time lets you pre-read stuff before you go to the source site.

Scoville Test For Capsaicin--A Thermal Richter Scale
From Margen, S. et. al (1992).The wellness encyclopedia of food and nutrition: How to buy, store, and prepare every variety of fresh food. Distributed by Random House. ISBN 0-929661-03-6.

"All hot peppers contain capsaicinoids, natural substances that produce a burning sensation in the mouth, causing the eyes to water and the nose to run, and even induce perspiration. Capsaicinoids have no flavor or odor, but act directly on the pain receptors in the mouth and throat. The primary capsaicinoid, capsaicin, is so hot that a single drop diluted in 100,000 drops of water will produce a blistering of the tongue.

"Capsaicinoids are found primarily in the pepper's placenta--the white "ribs" that run down the middle and along the sides of a pepper. Since the seeds are in such close contact with the ribs, they are also often hot. In the rest of the vegetable, capsaicinoids are unevenly distributed throughout the flesh, so it is likely that one part of the same pepper may be hotter ot milder than another. You can reduce the amount of heat in a chili pepper by removing the ribs and seeds, but you must wear gloves while doing so.

"Capsaicinoid content is measured in parts per million. These parts per million are converted into Scoville heat units, the industry standard for measuring a pepper's punch. One part per million is equivalent to 15 Scoville units. Bell peppers have a value of zero Scoville units, whereas habaneros -- the hottest peppers--register a blistering 200,000 to 300,000.Pure capsaicin has a Scoville heat unit score of 16 million." (p.140)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Guide To Peppers
Name Scoville Units Native Regions
Habanero 100K-300K Yucatan, Caribbean
Scotch Bonnet 100K-250K Jamaica, Caribbean, Belize
Jamaican Hot 100K-200K Jamaica, other Caribbean islands
Thai 50K-100K Southeast Asia, California
Cayenne 30K-50K Louisiana, Mexico, Asia, Africa
Serrano 10K-23K Mexico, Southwest U.S.
Wax 5K-10K Mexico, California, Southwest U.S.
Jalapeno 2.5K-5K Oaxaca, Chihauhau, Texas, Southwest US
Rocotillo 1.5K-2.5K South America
Poblano 1K-1.5K Puebla, Mexico City region, California
New Mexico 500-1,000 Rio Grande Valley
Pepperoncini 100-500 Mediterranean Basin, California
Bell Pepper 0 Holland, Mediterranean Basin, California
Sweet Italian 0 Mediterranean Basin, California
Pure Capsaicin 16 Million Chemistry Labs

For Snuffy

I will seek and find you . . I shall take you to bed and have my way
with you.

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I`m
finished with you, and, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.
All my love,
The Flu

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1 People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Just Plain Fred

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.

He asks the man his name. "Fred," he replies.

"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a
break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses
him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but
lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along
with it.

"Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"

The man replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me."

"I was born Fred Dingaling. I know -- a funny last name. The kids
used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got
good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor.

I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and
finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.

"After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to
school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree,so
then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS". "Got bored doing dentistry, so I started
fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling,
MD, DDS, with VD".

"Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then
I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA
taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as
Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just
Fred."

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

Thought I'd add a joke to the list:

Harry met Sandy at a nightclub one evening, and she finally invited him back to her apartment to spend the night. Her roommate was out of town, so this was the perfect opportunity.

The couple went back to her house, and after a few minutes the pair proceeded into Sandy's bedroom. When Harry walked through the door he immediately noticed all of these stuffed animals.

There were hundreds of them - stuffed toys on top of the wardrobe, stuffed toys on the bookshelf and stuffed toys on the window sill. There were more on the floor, and of course, stuffed toys all over the bed.

They cleared off the bed, jumped in, and went at it. Later, after the sex, Harry turned to Sandy and asked, "Well ... How was I?"

Sandy replied, "Well, you can pick anything from the bottom shelf."

This must be a first - you analyze it while I think about it.

Skillet, you're almost as bad as Joe.

I thought it was something else but I thank you for explaining to me that it was a picture that made a political statement.

While some may think of the patricia Richardson pic as porn, I think of it as a pic of a person who knows how to seperate the dark clothing from the whites when doing the laundry. She is wearing a nice pair of white socks.

Whew! That was way hotter than my penguin!



You are welcome.


Lots of good jokes being posted today. Keep 'em coming! We got ground to cover!

Tom you had me really rattled !

I started to read and the immediate thought that came to mind was your lovely wife ... and then I read to the end and I cracked up.

I thought for a minute there that RA was racier than I had thought at first !

AND.. Pegatha ... DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT !!!

I am watching that count like a hawk !

Actually he's all finished! Methinks we were finally able to put that poor miserable case out of its misery and let the guilty SOB go 'cause the state really messed up and never even came close to provin' guilt beyond a reasonable doubt, eh?

I'da loved to put this nasty piece of work away where he belongs for a long, long time. Unfortunately me 'n eleven other people, all who felt in their gut that this guy was guilty as sin, just couldn't let it happen.

'Tis too bad, especially after the police did their job and did it well, that the Attorney General put it in the hands of a brain dead newbie just outa law school who was probably hired as a political favor to present everything but the needed evidence, which we knew existed through testimony, and whose oratory came across more as character defamation than presentin' a viable case!

After we delivered the verdict and the case was dismissed the judge called the jury and both trial counsel into her chambers. She was happy we in the jury came to the verdict we'd decided on, 'cause she said otherwise she'd have been forced to vacate the conviction on technical grounds. Then she delivered a really great butt chewin' to both lead lawyers sayin' twas obvious the jury was awake throughout the case, even if they was asleep at the switch. Methinks the AG gonna get a pretty sharply worded letter from her to boot. Ain't that sweet?

Anybody here feel the need to get outa jury duty might wanna check here for tips how. Myself, I'll just keep doin' it, though methinks by the time I get called again my short term memory'll be a problem.

And on that note a little more jury humor might be in order:
A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendent, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.

The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendent was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited.

After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?"

The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!" You mean y'all's lovin' husbands ain't got you folks a greenhouse for Xmas yet? What's this world comin' to, eh?'Cept then you gotta worry 'bout a relapse, eh? Right now my throat feels like I been garglin' with deisel fuel or somethin' caustic. Methinks you forgot to say "by the same people" in there, eh?

Well, we seem to be closin' in on #1900, so what post whore's gonna jump in and nail it, eh?

She is as bad as joe e , Redbird...

Home : Men & Women jokes Send this joke to a friend!
Add to My Jokes Box

Man & His Wife
A guy and his wife were speeding down the interstate when a state cop pulls him over. The man says, "What's the problem officer?

Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."

Man: "No sir, I was going 65."

Wife: "Oh Harry, you were going 80." Man gives his wife a dirty look.

Officer: "I will also give you a ticket for your broken tail light."

Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light"

Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for months." Man gives his wife a dirty look.

Officer: "I will also give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."

Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."

Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt."

Man turns to his wife and yells, "B**ch, shut your damn mouth"

The Officer turns to the woman and says, "Ma'm,does your husband talk to you this way all the time?? Wife says, "No, only when he's drunk."

One more closer....

ADD...

Off topic, but...



On edit: Oh shi@, 1900...

CONGRATULATIONS JOE!!!!!!!!!

magic, PM me the name of the funny web site that your server won't let you open. I'll try to fix it for you... joe e

COUNTDOWN

Guess we haven't HAD ENOUGH...can we make it to 2000 by midnight???

CONGRATULATIONS JOE!!!!

George Carlin on baseball and football


Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out.
Also: in football,basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.

In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager. And only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders uniform,you'd know the reason for this custom.

Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.

I enjoy comparing baseball and football:

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.

Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park.The baseball park!

Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.

Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

In football you wear a helmet.

In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?

Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?

In football you receive a penalty.

In baseball you make an error.

In football the specialist comes in to kick.

In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.

Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...

In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.

Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.

Football has the two minute warning.

Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.

Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.

In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.

And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!

I'll bet we break the magic mark early this evening. And honestly, not by the single word on each post trick.

But I gotta go, so you guys hold up my end. Wait, no, don't do that. You'll hurt yourself.

Only 95 to go...

On edit: Change that, -P took one off...

Have to leave for work in about 20 minutes...the pressures on! Pull in some ringers or something guys!

Have funnnnnnn at work...

I'm just fonting around.

This is cursive

wide latin

just one more

AHOY from the Chief's Mess...

Well, 'twould seem Bosun Joe took the decisive step to put us past 1900, so 'tis onward and upward towards 2000, eh?

BTW Bosun,

My feelin's on the legal system was just reinforced by my recent experience, eh?

Sometimes you just have to say

This is true harmony...

My sweetie got me this shirt for gigs. It cost $2!

I'm doin' my part...