http://autos.aol.com/article/general/v2?id...224141509990001

What a Girl Wants
Our battle of the sexes takes place on wheels.
By CAROL TRAEGER

Last November, TCC ran a column by Douglas Flint entitled "What Real Men Drive," in which he claimed real men don't drive macho HUMMER H2s or diesel Ford F-350s; they drive International Scouts and Chevy El Caminos. And if they can't get their hands on one of those out-of-production models, other real-man options include:

· Any convertible (the Mazda Miata excepted) as long as the top stays down whenever it's not raining or snowing
· Any plain-Jane American four-door sedan (think Ford Crown Vic or Buick LeSabre)
· The Jeep CJ series ("pre-Eighties wussification")
· Anything with a plow on it

In response to his column, TCC reader Erin Mays wrote a letter to the editors praising Flint on his choices and concluding with, "I'm just eagerly awaiting 'What Real Women Drive' by TCC's CarGirl."

So this one's for you, Erin, albeit three months late.

What is a real woman?
The problem with Flint 's column is he never defines what a "real man" is. He simply tells us what real men drive, as if the car defines the man. If that were the case, according to Flint 's vehicle choices, all "real men" would have battle scars, wear Brut cologne and look like the Brawny paper towel guy, plaid flannel shirt and ax included. Not that any of those are bad things.

Real women, on the other hand, are much harder to define. Unlike lumberjacks, real women are multi-dimensional and complex. They're sophisticated, smart, confident, classy, sensitive, sensual, have more than a little chutzpah, and come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and guises: Think Jackie O, Princess Grace, Oprah Winfrey, Madonna, The Pretenders' Chrissie Hynde, Sophia Loren, TCC's writers and ad sellers.

In a perfect world every real woman would own at least four cars - one for each phase of the lunar cycle. But this being an imperfect world, most real women get by with one (maybe two) vehicles at a time.

Over the course of a lifetime, a woman goes through more demographic (and hormonal) changes than does a man. (Remember Gail Sheehey's Passages?) So it follows that women switch car segments more frequently than do men. Does a man trade in his Porsche for a minivan when he gets his wife pregnant? No. It's the woman who switches cars when the "family situation" changes.

A "real woman" will drive whatever vehicle best fits her current lifestyle and responsibilities. (But when she's 18 she'll drive whatever her parents hand down to her or deem to be the safest car.)

In drastic circumstances, real women have even been known to drive (gulp!) minivans. But you can bet they ditch those vans the day their kids fly the coop. That's when they opt for something sexy and self-indulgent, something that says more about them than the people who share the same last name.

Of course, a real woman is a real woman (RW) no matter what she drives. But when you see a woman behind the wheel of one of the following cars (listed in order of a woman's life stages), you can be 99.9 percent sure you're looking at the genuine article.

Care- and kid-free phase
VW New Beetle Convertible Turbo: Guys like to call it a "chick car" (as if there's something wrong with that), but they're just jealous. Young RWs embrace this drop top for its zippy acceleration, nimble handling, super-wide-opening roof, solid engineering, timeless design, great safety features, and some of the coolest colors under the sun.

BMW 3-Series: The benchmark against which all other premium sport sedans are judged, the 3 offers communicative steering, braking, and handling; world-class powertrains; first-class quality, and distinctive styling. Adding the performance package to the 330i ups a driver's realness factor by ten points.

Burdened -- I mean blessed -- with children phase
Volvo XC90: The antithesis of in-your-face SUVs like the HUMMER H2 and Cadillac Escalade, Volvo's svelte and stylish SUV can do everything they do except tow a house, but does so with air of understated elegance. Loaded with comfort, safety, and kid-friendly features, this Swede leaves a smaller footprint on the planet, too.

Chrysler Pacifica or Mercedes-Benz R350: Part SUV and part station wagon, these corporate cousins combine the aerodynamic styling of a bullet train with the comfort and luxury of a stretch limo. Great for moms who love their kids, but not enough to buy a minivan.

Any European Wagon: Tony Soprano's wife, Carmela, loves her Mercedes-Benz E320 Wagon, and she's nothing if not an RW (albeit a fictitious, TV one). The fact is, most Euro-wagons have more fashion sense than anything in an RW's closet. This includes the Volvo XC70, Audi allroad, Mercedes-Benz E320, BMW 530xi sport wagon, Saab 9-5, VW Passat, and some Asian wagons as well.

Reward phase
See "Care- and Kid-Free Phase" (above): New empty nesters often revert to their preferences; if they loved BMWs in their youth, chances are they'll go for them again.

Cargirl: Steppin’ Out in Style
Avoiding Animals
2007 Dodge Caliber
Porsche Boxster S: The gold standard of roadsters, this drop-top two-seater offers superb balance, sharp steering, beautiful styling, and, of course, Porsche panache. Plus, there's just room for one more. If he looks like speed skater Chad Hendrick, so be it.

Volvo C70: Come spring, many up-to-the-minute RWs will begin draping themselves in Volvo's smart and sexy hardtop convertible. Perhaps the first true four-passenger hard-top convertible, the C70 offers enough rear legroom to accommodate four lower appendages (as opposed to two golf bags), a 14-speaker audio system to beat the band (even with the top open), and lockable storage compartments so you don't have to close the roof every time you run into the store. Oh, and it drives great, too, especially with the six-speed manual.

Sun City phase
Jaguar XJ Series: Silky performance, supermodel looks, classic Jag styling, and a sumptuous interior make this the number one choice for RWs of a certain age. The long-wheelbase Vanden Plas edition ups the cushiness quotient with five additional inches of rear legroom, 16-way power seats, four-zone climate controls, blingy wheels, a heated steering wheel, richer wood trim, real wool rugs, a power rear window shade, and classy wood rear picnic trays. Valet parking attendants rush to park this car. The only thing missing is a chauffeur.

Lexus LS430: My mom's an RW and she's been happy driving the same LS400 for the past 14 years. 'Nuf said.

1959 Cadillac, mint condition: Appropriate at any stage of a woman's life, especially if it's powder blue and has sticky clear plastic seat covers. Much to her children's horror, my mother (again) -- adorned in a beehive hairdo and cat-eye glasses -- drove this very car all through the '60s. Giant fins, pointy-bra taillights, powder-blue paint. Egad! We thought it too obscene to be seen in, so we'd crouch in the rear seats until our neighborhood was a speck on the horizon before lifting our heads. Looking back we realize this Caddy was cool, and our mom was a real woman.

PEGATHA!

YOU ARE S-O-O-O-O-O-O BAD!

Yeah, spelling. It's an English Teacher thing...

{Pie, keep your damned mouth shut!)

Good morning everyone!
(or what ever 'tis where ever you is, eh?)

Wow! Methinks the Bosun got #1400, eh?

No good deed goes unpunished! She gets home from school yesterday, sees the shiny silver colored Neon in the driveway, I give her the keys and say "Check it out", okay? She gets in, notices the really nice new look of it, includin the really nice, and expensive, Alpine sound system I'd had put in earlier in the day, and with tears in her eyes looks up and says "It's not a Maxima", argh!

So she takes it for a ride, comes back, I ask what she thinks and she says "I guess it's okay", at which time I remind her 'tis replacin' a 1991 Sundance she'd been happy with. Kids!

Might be I should have her had her read what Snuffy posted here, eh?If the cops in Alabama're even close to bein' like the cops in Mississippi methinks we'd probably be busted 'cause of all the northern agitators and hauled off to jail, just to show us they can. 'Course it might be excitin', eh?

Sometimes methinks wives make as much sense as kids. Havin' said that methinks I'm gonna go put on a flack jacket and helmet now.

Here's hopin' the weather's good where ever y'all are at. Enjoy the day, be safe, stay well and remember to play nice!

Congrats Joe!
Now, off to work I go - after garbage, got to remember garbage out.

Enjoyed all your posts- all zillion of them. Passed 1400, huh ?!
That will be hard to beat in the future. And Amy got the first post of March, too- does that mean the thread will be in her name ?

Great news about Winston becoming a grandfather ! Also glad Vet got tickets to go see his other daughter and that Marine seems to be feeling better. Hope skillet's dinner went well- Magic Jr probably charmed the pants off of the date (whoops- not literally!). Sorry Doc's daughter had such a typical Teen reaction to the car- sounds all too familiar to me. And I cannot remember all the other news from all the pages & pages & pages you all posted in a day !

Beautiful weather here in Tally. (Typing this on Teen's computer, which I must return later this morning.) This is a nice "park" we are in- quiet and smaller. Of course TrailerMan and I are still mega klutzes at all of this hooking up to tow & setting up and stuff. Steep leaning curve, I guess. And I forgot to bring any towels. Guess I will try to find a discount store today before I feel too guilty about going thru so many paper towels.

Tonight is the big Duke-FSU game, which was the primary purpoe of this outing... a good friend from St.Pete is coming up today to join Trailerman. He's a Dukie and is forcing MrPie to a Duke dinner,since thye will be sitting in the FSU section. Wonder if we will see a blue wig on one and war paint on the other. I think I will be here in the camper with Buddy.

For any Willie Nelson fans out there: he was here last night in Tally. Big concert for his 70th birthday. And the Ringling Brother Circus opens here tomorrow. Should I look for some denizens ?

Ya'll be good.

Hope you have a good stay, Pie!

Doc, I remember having a similar reaction when I got my first car. My dad had purchased a lime green LTD, a company car from the drilling company at which he worked. It was parked in the driveway with a big red bow on it, and I was singularly unimpressed. I would give anything in the world to be able to replay that moment.

Just remember, years hence, she will be really remorseful at her ingratitude.

Marie needs to check in and report on her big dinner!

And congratulations, Joe! You da man! I was afraid I was going to have to drive out there and hunt you down to get you to come back. Glad you came to your senses.
You should never, ever doubt that we value you here.

-P

Remebered the garbage, forgot to shut down the computer SO... If you're reading this honey, I apologize

To show you how perceptions on cars change when I was in high school in the late 60s and had an "important" date I would borrow my Mother's car because it was so much nicer than the raggedy piece of junk I drove.

I'd be so embarassed when the guys ribbed me for driving her champagne 1959 Cadilac 2-door hardtop coupe de ville. That was back before they decided the 59 caddie was a classic, to me it was just a big old boat.

Flydangler - Have to share my car story. When I was 16 I begged my Dad for a car. Not to buy me one, but to cosign for a loan. He refused, I was too young, etc., etc...Now I had a job that was clear across town (I lived in the Bay Area in CA) in those days. It was a pain...After I few months of begging, and rejecting..I suddenly got a phone call at work from my Dad. I needed to come home right after work, one of my favorite cousins had run away, was at our house, and my Dad needed me home so we could talk some sense into her. Well I rushed right home from my job. No cousin. My Dad said very casually that they had called her Dad, she went home and all was well. Then he mentioned that my Uncle had this old blue car, and he was thinking we could go give it a look in the morning. I was excited. Then he said well actually, he already got the blue car. I went running outside, looked up and down the street..no blue car. Finally he says, "see that new car parked across the street? It's yours." It was a shiny, brand new 1973 Plymouth Gold Duster. I was so thrilled (not the snazzyest car in the world, but was to me!) I could be heard screaming up and down the block.

Chapter 2: A few years later) My little sister's turn. Waiting for her was a Z-28 Camaro. Opposite reaction, tears, stomps in the house. She wanted a Trans Am.
By now I'm not living at home. After a few days my Dad approachs me. He knows he will lose money trading in the Camaro to a dealer, so he proposes that I give him the Gold Duster to trade in, he will give me the Camaro and buy my sister her beloved Trans Am.

Chapter 3: I think about it, then say that I don't think I can do it. My insurance would go up, the gas would cost me more then I could afford. So my Dad throws up his hands, and says fine, give me the car and I'll pay for both your insurance and gas for a year ok??? OK....

And that is a story of how two daughters just about drove their Dad crazy...and we are talking about just that time!

Anyway, we were both pretty hot stuff in our Camaro and Trans Am...oh and Dad..while my mom got a new Caddy every two years, he always stuck with the same.....El Camino .

Nice story Snuffy!

Btw - Dinner went fine, watched a movie afterwards. Jr. Magic, was charming Pie.
Was a nice night.

Magic: Did you have a nice time?

Hi Pie! Having fun?

Doc: My son has never been good with surprise gifts...we learned early on to let him make his own choices within the limits of what we are willing to spend...we would be all excited about a "special" gift for him and more often than not he didn't share our enthusiasm.......so now, i give surprise gifts to my grandchildren and they love them...of course they are only 2 and 4...

I did have a nice evening, Amy..I little nerve wracking for me at first, but everything fell in to place and it was fun.

Thanks all for asking.

'Bout an hour early, but KonichiWa, all...

Might be I should have her had her read what Snuffy posted here, eh?



Whatever happened to And she'l have fun, fun, fun until her Daddy takes the T-Bird away. (I'm dating myself) - I got the handmedown from my older brother and it was a beat up '64 T-Bird. And I did have fun, fun, fun.

Here's to a new thread!!!

Please do not shoot the messenger, ladies. This is a FUNNY, FUNNY video (with audio)

I'll say it for you: bad joe, bad joe...

Joe E - I want to see funny, funny..but when I try and access the link, microsoft boots me off and wants to send me an error report. Anyway around that?

Love ya..and am glad you are ok with me.

Snuffy - we should compare notes! PM me..

All, I have to share this, last night at dinner, I asked Jr. Magic (cuz he is our music wizard)..to play some of his CD's...after a few minutes thought, he put on Frank Sinatra..(A CD he had burned)..his statement was I think this dinner is a "Frank Sinatra Night"...haven't had a chance to ask him what the heck he meant..but it cracked all of us up!

skillet

Joe - That was funny - always on because you are always blonde. Great line.

Wonder if Pie will get a kick out of it.

Sounds like my two daughters but in reverse. My oldest had five different cars (bear in mind her Dad, namely ME, has been driving a truck only one year younger than me since 1985) bought for her by me before she was twenty years old. Three of those cars were brand new too.

Daughter #2 got a used Ford escort when she turned 16 and drove it up until just last year when she was 24 years old and I bought her a new toyota corolla.

Guess which one thanked her Dad and was sincere?

The dancing girls

Warning: very r-rated with suggestive lyrics

Dancing

More dancing

and more Dancing!

I'm not sure, Magic. Try just using the pure, non-embedded, url...

http://www.killsometime.com/video/video.asp?ID=366

PS We were never not okay... joe e

Gotta luv'em 'cause you can't kill'em, eh?

Been there, done that, served my time...

I guess revenge is: our kids finally having kids, you think? LMAO

That's why I love my two Grandsons so much. Revenge is sweet.

Joe - I'm Laughing SOOOO hard, I'm actually crying...... Love it...ok, dare I??? on to Desron's link....

I'm sure you know: insanity is genetic.

Kids pass it on to their parents...

You got that right ws! (Although, I got a double dose with elder Magic), younger Magic must have watched him all those years, and took notes..(he is 11 years younger..) completely different person...I can imagine that young old soul, thinking, nope..."don't want to try that one." It has been like night and day raising the both of them, but honestly it makes my older boy's accomplishments, etc..ever so much sweeter.

And I'm like Peg..would love to be a grandmother. My older son says he scared himself...he is 27 and is in no way ready to have children, and acknowledges it. Younger Magic is only sixteen. I may be a very old grandparent!

Des - having the same problem with your links as I did Joe's..won't show them. Maybe they are just too popular, but you have me curious.

I guess I better get on the stick and renew my membership. Would hate to suddenly be "off-line" from you all, without it being by my choice, of course!

Marine - I'm gonna PM you something about your post...

GODDAMNED FUNNIEST THING I'VE HEARD IN WEEKS!

Reminds me of a story I heard from AAA:

A woman (blonde?) calls AAA and says she can't open her car door. She's in tears- apparently the battery in her remote had gone dead. So out comes the AAA truck. The driver takes the remote out of her hand, then puts the key attached to it into the keyhole and unlocks the door...

:irish1:

They are actually just some videos of a couple of old ladies giving dancing lessons.

Oh is that all...someone should make you a PR guy for some major corporation..you deserve the big bucks!

Hey..WS..I think we RA folks are growing on ya..kind of like mold!

Who would have thunk it?

Again..really enjoy having you here.

I WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST, FORMALLY, THAT YOU NEVER POST SOMETHING THIS OFFENSIVE EVER, EVER AGAIN!

(self-edit)

At least the guy should be thankful they are not made of brass.

Edit: I thought you had a big set yourself for posting a link to that video but I see you thought better of it!!

Link still won't work..A couple of old ladies giving dancing lessons huh?

why oh why, might I just think you may be a little less then descriptive here..mmmm?

Magic, copy the url and paste it into your browser's address window and hit 'GO'...

Ok, now you got me interested.

This better be worth it considering my dial-up runs so slow you got to really want it if someone sends a link like this.

You know you are taking your life in your own hands when you say 'BLONDE,' don't you??? Somebody is bound to get you for that...

You know you are my favorite person to mess with, right? But I decided against outing you for a PM.

No, not that kind of "outing."

This will make you wonder (sure did me) just where, or in what the FAUX folks have their collective heads sticking.

Let's all tar and feather Desron

We'd have to ketch 'im first!

Won't work, Master Guns, 'cause he likes it... (Hi Des.)

Since I can't walk too good anymore and I certainly can't run, catching shouldn't be a problem

Skillit, you ain't missin' a thang! Let's put it this way: better not quit their day jobs...

OH GOD! MARINE MAY NOT HAVE READ THIS WARNING YET!

After my links to songs about farting got deleted by who knows who, I figure i can't post anything raunchy or racey. I'm restricted to sending that kind of stuff to Pegatha for research purposes.

I was thinkin' more in the terms of fungi- tastes much better and can make you crazy with the li'l spotted ones...

Guess liking it isn't either, huh?

Y'all seriously should pm Des for a link to the last thing he sent me. Belongs in Ripley's.

I believe his ancestors were the ones who invented the wheel so they could build a cart to haul their equipment around in.

You know, I just realized: this place is a hellava lot more dangerous than chat! Once you get out of chat, all the evidence is gone...