A koala is sitting up a gum tree ... smoking a joint



when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says,



"Hey you! What are you doing?"

The koala says:
"Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and
they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his
mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. But
the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and
falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and
helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard:
"What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned
and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into
the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting
finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"



So the koala looks down at him and says:



"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude ... how much
water did you drink?!!"

Good morning everyone!
(or what ever 'tis where ever you is, eh?)

Another nice day comin' methinks, but my wife wants a big chunk of her garden composted and tilled. No fishin' for me today, eh?

Weather's so nice now that I'm wonderin' when we'll get colder again. Methinks my cats ain't lookin' forward to winter 'tall.



Anyone notice the fast food business's gettin' as ugly as politics?

'Tain't nothin' more disappointin' than lookin' for that perfect rendition of "Wild Mountain Thyme" and seein' them I expected better from fallin' flat. Methinks 'twas truly depressin' findin' James Taylor (in Telluride Bluegrass Festival: Reflections, Vol. 1) and the Byrds (in 5D - Fifth Dimension) not doin' better.


Well, here's hopin' the weather's great where ever y'all are at! Enjoy the day, be safe, stay well and remember to play nice!

Oh well, Doc. It's okay. I love you anyway.

the guy I work with got a text message this week

heard you got robbed at gun point
yea he said suck my d*** are I'll kill you
well glad to see your still alive!!!

ha ha

Progress

Halloween Funny

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the
last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the
latest episode was another and stayed put.

He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his
ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped
out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital
window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He
started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get
the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a
tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his
feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard (barely
containing his laughter) who had watched the whole incident walked up
and asked, "What the heck is going on here?

"The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the crap
out of a ghost."

Happy Halloween !

Over heard a woman say...

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big fricken red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

Good morning everyone!
(or what ever 'tis where ever you is, eh?)

Justa quick note to say hi! Gotta go to a breakfast meetin' 'bout the final phase of completin' anadromous fish passage on dams on the Blackstone River, eh? Methinks 'tis been a long struggle, but finally gettin' done.

Well, here's hopin' the weather's great where ever y'all are at! Enjoy the day, be safe, stay well and remember to play nice!

Just popping in to say Good Morning and wish everyone a great day.

Busy morning here. Trying to make spaghetti sauce but Tuffy has other ideas. He does love to screw up my mornings! He is trying to walk on my feet this morning instead of his own. He sure doesn't like me out of his sight!

If it were not for morning and afternoon nap time I doubt I'd get anything done these days. Thank god for crates !

He is doing great though and definite progress is being made.. of course for every step forward there seem to be two back some days but we're gettin' there !

See you all later.

Nasty rainy windy night here, but at least it don't look like it'll get much below 40 degrees F, eh? 'Tis good weather for Sci-Fi Friday.

My evil kitty just took a pig's ear away from one of the dogs, so methinks I'd best keep that from escalatin' into whatever. Y'all have fun in chat!

Good pajama weather.

I'm in chat, Pie! Come on!

Truly must be a boycott. I went to the chat room at about 9pm, no one there.
So I waited awhile. Then I announced chat in a thread. Still no one. Then I lost my connection for a few minutes. Came back- still no one. It is Friday, isn't it ? Maybe not... golly gee whiz.
I had to beg SonPie for his computer to use tonight and I guess no one wanted to watch me misspell my gibberish. Or they have real lives.

Betty- sounds like you and Tuffy are having a ball. I am enjoying the stories.

We are in Tally again. Ya'll be good.

Well, you already know that Tuffy can type, so when you get really busy you could let him post for you again...

joe e

Good morning everyone!
(or what ever 'tis where ever you is, eh?)

Sun's up. rain's quit and the wind's pretty much decreased to only 'bout 20mph, so methinks 'twill be a better day here. Noticed just about every square inch of my lawn's covered by leaves again though, oh joy! Maybe by tomorrow they'll be dry enough to do somethin' 'bout, but not today, eh?

Upon observing the way we waste our precious natural resources, imagine the conversation The Creator might have with St. Francis:

"Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there? Where are all of the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I planted eons ago? I had the perfect no-maintenance garden plan. My plants grew in any type of soil; they withstood drought, and multiplied with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies, honeybees, and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of color by now, but all I see are these green squares."

"It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great extent to kill them and replace them with grass."

"Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract birds or bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Are you sure they really want all that grass growing there?"

"Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it, and keep it green. In the Spring they fertilize the grass, and kill any other plants that crop up."

"The spring rains and cool weather probably make the grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy."

"Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little - they cut it."

"Cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?"

"No, not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags."

"Oh. Is it a cash crop? Do they sell the bags?"

"No sir, just the opposite. They pay taxes for the bags to be hauled off."

"Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize the grass so it will grow, and when it does grow they cut if off and pay to throw it away?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then, these suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work."

"Sit down, Lord. When the grass stops growing, they drag out the hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to have it hauled off."

"What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the Autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form a compost to enhance the soil."

"You still sitting, Lord? The Suburbanites have grown a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them, bag them, and pay to have them hauled off."

"You're kidding! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter, or keep the soil moist and loose?"

"After the leaves are hauled off they buy something they call mulch and spread it around under the trees."

"And where do they get this mulch."

"They cut down the trees and grind them up."

"ENOUGH! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?"

"Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about..."

"Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story."

Well, here's hopin' the weather's great where ever y'all are at! Enjoy the day, be safe, stay well and remember to play nice!






Added on edit: Y'all realize 'tis only the 21st and already we're up to almost 370 posts here this month?

Good Morning Everyone... from the looks of things that's a very few "everyones".

I'm beginning to wonder if halitosis or B.O has taken possession of either Fly or me. I see Joe is able to ignore it and do his part.. thank you Joe .. but the suggestion Tuffy do some more posting isn't viable .. he says typing is too much work and he doesn't think anyone wants to read him anyway. I told him I figure everyone is either wrapped up in politics right now or just too busy to have time to visit but he says he is done typing. He really doesn't get this on line stuff too well. He says its like talking to yourself and keeps me from playing with him. And that he does not like !

Fly, that's a great essay ! Thank you . I really enjoyed reading it. Made a lot of sense. Right now I'd like to revert to His way. The yard is covered with leaves from the Locust tree. I don't think there is a diirtier tree in the universe. In spring its seeds and in the fall those blasted tiny leaves which stick to everything! And the Oak tree? I won't even go there. It hasn't started to drop leaves yet but there are acorns all over the place. The squirrels are ecstatic. And our neighbours believe in sharing as well so there are maple leaves and apple and cherry tree leaves, and pine needles adding to the work awaiting me. I am ashamed of my gardens. Its been two months since I've been able to do a proper maintenance because of first my leg(which is almost healed finally) and then my shoulder and other leg. Never thought I'd pray for snow but I'm just about at that point. But first I have to shut down the pond for the winter and it isn't quite cold enough yet for the fish to decide to hibernate.

I may just hire the guy I hire for heavy stuff and tree pruning etc to do a fall clean up for me this year because right now it looks like a job I am not going to have time to do. I usually enjoy fall so much but I know my limitations. And right now I have my hands full. Besides the fun of raking leaves is mostly a memory anyway. I MISS bonfires !! I used to love the smell of burning leaves. Progress sucks at times.

Sure not too much worry about milestones this month is there ! I really miss reading everyone these days. So many are missing. I do hope so much they come back soon. This place needs them ! I know one thing for sure... the lights are still on and the welcome mat stays out. Fly will see to that.

If any of you do drop by .. its lonely around here ... we miss you ! I'll even stop posting Tuffy tales if that will help bring you home.

Hope everyone is OK and has a lovely day.

Honey(s), I'm home, well temporarily at least so I thought I'd take a little time this morning to spread some cheer, unfortunately, I need it to finish the laundry.

Yes, I've been busy this week and haven't logged on for a few days - after some much deserved rest yesterday, I think I might be partially awake. If you haven't seen my human interest post in the military forum, take a few minutes to read it here http://www.commongroundcommonsense.org/for...ndpost&p=634201. I think this is a neat story.

And now without further ado, the winners of the "I look like my dog" contest - sorry Betty, it doesn't look like you qualified.





Hmmm . . .


Technical difficulties . . . please stand by

Don't be so sure C. there are those in this house who might well say I definitely exhibit all of Tuffy's personality traits although my face isn't as covered with hair as his. I know I match him for stubbornness and am told I see only my way as the right way far too often.

I absolutely love the last picture. Proof positive that the animal kingdom frequently displays far more common sense than humans do.

(Playing the political correct card here) It's okay to be stubborn if you're right and if I remember correctly you're a Taurus - so you have a valid excuse for your "firm opinions". Now Doc, on the other hand, isn't stubborn at all.

A round for the house!


Its finally cool in Houston

I missed chat because I was at a snooty art opening. It was hilarious watching the people critique the "Art"! It was mostly crap but I had a great talk with one art guy who plays with advertising as art and so we blabbed....

I woke up this morning with a chihuahua sleeping by my head.
Its all good here

Poor little guy must have been cold.

Good morning, all in this house!

Chat was really great last night. Betty, I don't mean to be a nag, but you really should stop by some time.

We talked a great deal about how RA has gone downhill. Don't mean to be smug, but I think that I was the only one to admit partial responsibility for failing to post as much!

Marie took a huge step, which will not be explained here, and plans to take an even bigger one soon! I felt as if I got to know several other folks better, as well.

For those of you who haven't noticed, Frenchy has apparently left us again, which is a damned shame. We love you, Steve, if you happen to be lurking.

Reporting in ... with sleep deprivation hangover from chat. Started late and I signed out at 3:30AM eastern time... someone had just come in, though ! It could have gone all night, I guess.

I am about to lose SonPie's computer- he needs it to write a paper. So, I may not be back around until Tuesday.

Ya'll be well.

Hope you are feeling better. I logged into chat about 9 (for the 2nd time ever) and then I fell asleep.

I am back in political mode for the next couple weeks volunteering for Deval Patrick.
I am (yuck) calling people at home.

I have a huge hangover from chat last night and I did not drink any alcohol either. I think I sat here too long and ate too many chips. So now I'm drinking coffee and contemplating getting under the shower and washing away the Saturday morning blues. I know, you didn't need to hear that, I am just checking in. How do you feel this morning Pie, Mtnmagic, Peg, and winston? Sorry that we all took off when you came in at midnight west coast time Bill. We were all tuckered out!

KT :hexe:

Good morning all!

Woke up with a heart-beat and a pules this morning so I think it is gonna be a great day. I hope you all have the best of Saturdays...

joe e

You too, Joe! I'm fine this lovely day, Gracie. I got my caffeine hours ago - so long ago that it's all worn off.

We have a houseguest today, so we're getting ready to go out to the firepit in the backyard and hang out. Life is good!

Wish Marie would check in!

And another two "as seen on a T-Shirt...

I absolutely love this story Doc and the pictures too.

I always say "I'm against grass" for precisely the same reasons given above. It seems all too stupid if you ask me. I think I would like to plant some peppermint type ground cover that never has to be mowed or anything and smells terrific when you walk on it, but all anyone ever seems to do when they buy a house is plant GRASS....how silly.

I wasn't in chat because I fell asleep.

I have worked a couple of days this week for a small business that is thinking about buying another business of the same type. The owner did not know how to forcast profit or put a value to the new business so I played Excel Wizardess and made lots of nice charts and graphs that allowed them to see what would happen in various situations. It was actually kind of nice because I began to realize more what I learned and how those skills fit into the world, and why they will pay me the big bucks for doing what others do not know how to do. I know, I know, I know, they aren't YET paying me the big bucks because otherwiseh I would have a full time job!!! If one more person calls and says "so....you have a job yet?", I'm going to disconnect the phone. It is fairly easy to get a "JOB", it's hard to get a "career" at something you won't want to do after the first month.

Everything is smooth on the homefront. Everyone is back to good health, contrite, chastened, and can't do enough for me...and the boys are remarkably happy about all of this......Running for sainthood isn't easy though.

mAmA called to tell me she has bone spurs in her neck vertabrae from an accident long ago. While they were looking for the bone spurs they found her carotid artery is clogged and they may need to operate. I hope not! She worries me when she is ill. I can't imagine life without mAmA.

luv to all
heart

Am not!Probably 'cause we don't post much like this anymore, eh?


Did your 'puter not get fixed right? Methinks I mighta missed somethin' here.

IAC I'm bettin' Trailerman won't be fit company for a few days, and either will LB, eh? Seems a small New England college with a definite Jesuit influence is just knockin' the snot outa big bad Florida State.I'm actually thinkin' 'bout wipin' out most of the front lawn and puttin' in beds of Alyssums in pockets of salmon, lavender, lemon, pink, silver, wine, red, and tan in a big rock garden, eh? Methinks 'twon't be too difficult, they're hardy and self perpetuatin', require almost no care and look good to boot. Be better'n havin' to cut the damn grass!

Anybody got other suggestions, especially for partial sun areas?

8:30 and no one's home.

BTW, I found this laying outside the door. Anybody know who it belongs to? (I think I should not be ending a sentence with to)


And what do you mean you am not? Of course you are.

We got that same cold front here in Waxahachie about three hours before you did.

I spent my day doing something I'd comtemplated doing for over a year. The fish pond is being scooped out. It got put off because the guy who said he was going to do it for me washed out so no bulldozer.

I got an implement called a reversible scoop for the tractor, boy does it work good, basically it operates off of the three point hydraulics and in about 4 hours I had a hole scooped out about four feet deep and about a hundred feet in diameter.

I ought to be able to finish it tomorrow, could have done a bunch more today but the wife wasn't home. I don't work on the tractor around slopes unless she's here because if I roll it over at least she could call someone to get me out from underneath it.

I bought her a programable sewing machine for her birthday last year; she's just now figuring out how to do some real fancy embrodery and was in town buying thread all afternoon.

Here it is seven in the evening on the west coast. I took mom to the navy exchange this afternoon, came home, turned on the computer and fell asleep watching the Suze show. So it is off to a restaurant to get some food because it is too late to cook. Where have you been today mtn and pie? Peg, I am grateful for last night's chat with all of you. We sure got to vent didn't we? And who knew that you take fish oil? I might just try that one if it does you some good! winston are you feeling any better after your long day? I hope everyone is getting a lot of rest.

KT

Here I are....

Just home from work. Thanks to those of you in chat last night. Was a huge deal for me. Your support and kindness is appreciated more than I can possibly express. But what is said in chat, stays in chat for now.

Hey BADDABING Joe...You read my mind. I've been missing my water fairy....thanks for posting. I put her back where she belongs.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to dig a hole I go.

It isn't because I wouldn't like to join you guys Peg but as I have told you I am not a proficient typist. It is difficult for me to keep up the pace set in a chat situation. Rather than simply creating confusion by replying to someone long after the conversation has moved on I choose to stay away.

I know I miss a lot. Like now when I sit wondering what Skillet is up to but guess my curiosity is the price of my reticence.

Or .. another excuse... would you believe I'm shy ???

This will have to serve as my good morning as my little hellion is having a morning where nothing is safe from his destructive mood. He's a sweetheart but there is a demon which possesses him at times which is beyond comprehension and this is one of those times. I have finally met my match .. he's more stubborn than I am!

a P.S. to Steve.. what she said .. in spades !!!!

Good morning everyone!
(or what ever 'tis where ever you is, eh?)

Late gettin' up 'cause I was late gettin' to sleep, eh? Methinks I can remember watchin' the clock all night, but can't remember much past 0545. Guess I was so worried that Tuffy would miss the mark that it kept me awake.Am too!

A cannibal and his son are wandering through the desert and have not eaten in days. They come upon an oasis and decide to camp in the bushes till someone comes. The next morning they awake to see a beautiful woman bathing in the waterfall. As the father watches the water cascade off her body, he is aware of his son at his side.

The boy says " I'm hungry dad, lets eat."

The father replies "This specimen is too good too eat."

The boy grumbles that they have not eaten for days and he is really hungry.

The father says he has a plan. The boy is overjoyed that he will soon eat, so he asks what the plan is...

The father says" We sneak up to the edge of the clearing, and when she comes out of the water, we kidnap her, take her home and Eat Your Mother.

Well, here's hopin' the weather's great where ever y'all are at! Enjoy the day, be safe, stay well and remember to play nice!




BTW, methinks we just might reach 400 here this month yet, eh?

Impatiens.

but they aren't self-propagating like alyssum.

Lobelia works well in partial shade, and is also self-propagating.



Could also try Sweet Williams (or stinking willy, depending on which side of Culloden you fought.)

William "the Butcher", Lord Cumberland

You bet- you are the only one who will ever say here what was said there. That's how you know we love you, skillet.

He won't be able to plant any of the above until spring, in any case.

But impatiens is a good choice. Course, they're annuals, and he may not like that.

I think Marine mighta had sumpthin' ta do with it...

Thought about that after I posted- and they don't hold up well in cold weather- a lot of water in their stems and leaves so they easily freeze.

OK Doc, forget the impatiens!

... and everyone, go see 'Flags of Our Fathers." Eastwood has done an incredible job of telling the story of the flag posted on Surabatchi in February, 1945. And if you see it, stay until all the credits are done at the end; there's a great photo essay that really documents the whole thing.

Great story!

NOTE TO CO: You can't be worse than Pie and her typing. And threads of conversation move from minute to minute, so you'll never be lost. We would love to have you among us on Friday nites!

Oh, and Happy Halloween! :bat:

'cept sometimes we get a little randy...