Good morning everyone!
(or what ever 'tis where ever you is, eh?)

Is the election over yet? Would someone please wake me when the election's over?

'Tis gettin' so ugly out there methinks it brings back memories of 2000. Remember 2000?

GORE CONCESSION SPEECH:

Al Gore Concession Speech, 1st Draft
Good evening, my fellow American: Tonight we come to the end of a long road
and the start of a new one. Having exhausted all avenues of appeal in the U.S. and Florida, my legal team has filed a claim in World Court seeking to overturn the Florida elect..

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Al Gore Concession Speech, 2nd Draft
Good evening, my fellow Americans: Tonight, in the spirit of national unity and despite being the undisputed winner of the popular vote..

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Al Gore Concession Speech, 3rd Draft
Good evening, everyone. Many of you no doubt know what it feels like to get royally shaf..

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Al Gore Concession Speech, 4th Draft
Good evening, my fellow Americans. Although it is the opinion of my attorneys and myself that I do not fit the legal definition of "loser," ..

Crumple, crumple crumple
Al Gore Concession Speech, 5th Draft Good evening, my fellow Americans. Approximately 12 million light years ago, when I was first dispatched to your planet from Zolloid 9 ..

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Al Gore Concession Speech, 6th Draft
I can't do this. I just can't do this.

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Al Gore Concession Speech, 7th Draft
Hello, my fellow Americans. It's been a long and difficult month for me and, indeed, for the entire nation. But the time has come for us all to throw our enthusiastic support behind our next president, George W. Buhh
Bbb .
Bahoo. (laugh) Pardon me. Let me try that again: President
George
W. Buh,
Buh. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, PEOPLE! HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO PUNCH OUT A FREAKIN' CARDBOARD HOLE IN A BALLOT! MORONS!

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Al Gore Concession Speech, 8th Draft
My fellow Americans, in light of recent unfavorable court decisions, it has come to my understanding that a majority of you want to turn the country over to a recovering alcoholic and functional illiterate..

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Al Gore Concession Speech, 9th Draft (folksy approach) Good evening, my fellow Americans. You know, when I was young boy frolicking on the zero-gravity ash fields of Zolloid 9, it never occurred to me when I downloaded the human emotion coding sequence..

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Al Gore Concession Speech, 10th Draft
Good evening, my fellow Americans. Have you ever known someone who took something from a store without paying for it? That's called "stealing," and in American stealing is a cri..

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Al Gore Concession Speech, 11th Draft
My fellow American, most of you probably know how to count. One. Two. Three. And so on. See? It's not that difficult. (Smile). So can someone please explain to me why the state of Florida..

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Al Gore Concession Speech, 12 Draft
Good evening, everyone. Generally speaking, civil war is never a good thing. But there are times . ah, forget it.

Well, I gotta go out this mornin' to do Girl Scout stuff. See y'all later.

Well, here's hopin' the weather's great where ever y'all are at! Enjoy the day, be safe, stay well and remember to play nice!



Added on edit: Just noticed Gabby got #100, eh?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

#1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President.

#2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the
Government.

#3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People.

#4. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class.

#5. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future.

"Now, think about that and see if it makes sense."

So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check
on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So, the little boy goes to his parent' s room and finds his mother sound
asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the
door locked, he looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed with the
Nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think
politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class,
while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the
Future is in deep sh*t.

A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, "I'm going to a Halloween costume party, and I want to go as Adam."
The girl brings out a fig leaf. But he says, "Not big enough!"
So she brings out a bigger one. "Still not big enough!"
So he brings out a HUGE fig leaf. "Still not big enough!" he proudly tells her.
So she says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"

Good Morning everyone and if I can stop laughing Steve I might even be able to type!

Been a busy morning here. I should say a night and morning as I started about 4.30 AM. The company I worked with for so many years issued an SOS yesterday and dumped more paper on me than I can recall seeing in a very long time.

Its now sorted out and everything is balanced and back to rights but what a PITA!

Wish they would lose my phone number and address as "retirement" is a sometime thing with them when a problem arises. This isn't the first time this has happened and it won't be the last. I expect on my deathbed they will show up with a problem or two they need to pass by me before I check out.

Received this in my email just now .. think this "friend" is trying to tell me something ??

ATTENTION


ALIENS ARE COMING TO ABDUCT ALL THE GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY PEOPLE.

YOU WILL BE SAFE, I'M JUST EMAILING TO SAY GOODBYE

Better go .. Tuffy thinks I have abandoned him and has gotten even a few times by refusing to keep his good record intact this morning. I need to do a spot check .. to use the term loosely..

see ya later.. Have a great day !

http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7005405823

Think I'll stay away from the cafe until day after tomorrow. Seems everyone is getting uptight that the momentum seems to be shifting so they are a bit touchy.

I saw where Winston was being accused of being an obstructionist.

Skinner had to shut down DU for awhile after the 2004 election because of the anger, finger pointing and accusations that flared up there. Here in this forum, legion were the un-happy campers.

I am of the opinion that some take politics a bit too seriously.

Back from another good day of fund raisin' for Girl Scouts. Today got corporate pledges for almost $40,000, the bulk from Hasbro, so methinks 'twas a worthwhile day and's put us well on the way to my target of $250,000, eh?Might be you should try the string 'round the testicles trick, eh? Methinks you won't have to use it but once or twice and "accidents" will become a thing of the past!Sometimes 'twould seem the regular posters in the Café ain't had their rabies and distemper shots.Methinks his anti Lieberman sentiment's rulin' his thinkin' lately. Too true! Methinks it's strange how the most vehement strident ones really don't seem to know all that much 'bout the folks they're arguin' 'bout, eh?

Oh, the joys of bein' a moderate and not gettin' all worked up.

"According to Google trends people in the world most likely to look up homosexual activity are in Saudi Arabia, which is the ultimate dilemma for Republicans: gays with oil -- what do we do now?" --Jay Leno

While trying to escape through Pakistan , Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on a beach and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said, "Master, may I grant you one wish?"


"You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything", barked Bin Laden. The shocked genie said, "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever."


Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said "Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning. So just do it and be off with you!"


The annoyed genie said, "So be it!" and disappeared. The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton.


His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance


God is good!

Steve, you are on a roll today! I loved the ones this morning, especially.

I am going to post this pic without comment.

Dropping 75 lbs has done wonders for her, eh?

Sometimes -P leaves me speechless.

To be honest, I posted the pic because after reading all over the place about her appearance on Oprah, I was curious. I thought others might be, as well.

Do I like her? Not much. She's a Scientologist, which takes her down several notches in my estimation.

Just having a little fun - I didn't recognize her so I had to look her up. I thought she was pretty good in Cheers.

Oh man, the dog really has bad breath - needs to have his teeth cleaned but it's $300-500. Ouch.

I was a bit curious to see how her bikini outing turned out, but when I look at someones butt, their religion doesn't enter into it.

I do, however, agree with your observation about where Scientology puts one on the [food chain]...

joe e

Good nite all...

Good morning everyone!
(or what ever 'tis where ever you is, eh?)


Uh oh,,,,the election's been cancelled, this just in:

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect anybody as President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories including Texas.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with the following acts:

1. Look up "revocation" in the now official Oxford Dictionary ($75). Start spelling English words correctly.

2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God Save The Queen"

3. Start referring to "soccer" as football

4. Declare war on Quebec and France

5. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason

6. Close down the NFL. Learn to play rugby

7. Enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their names before you eat.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday, this has been replaced with November 7th

9. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required to take 6 weeks annual vacation and observe statutory tea breaks.

10. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect the change immediately.

11. Report to our Consulate General in NY - M Wragg - for your new passport and job allocation.

12. Have Meg Ryan report to the Prince Andrews Bedchamber.

13. Add the Royal insignia to the top of the Washington Monument - and the Queens Christmas speeches to the Lincoln Memorial.

14. Stop referring to the World Series of Baseball and instead call it the National Series of USA and Canada.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisiton of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day!


Well, here's hopin' the weather's great where ever y'all are at! Enjoy the day, be safe, stay well and remember to play nice!

'Tis Eugeenie's birthday and I have started a thread. I think he may come by from time to time to check on us- and today is a good bet, with the elections and it being his B-Day.

Bush Fails To Prevent Buffalo , New York Blizzard

Minorities Hit Hardest
NBC News 10/14/06

As President Bush and his staff sit comfortably in the White House, the snow continued to pile up on the many poor and African American victims in the Buffalo , NY area who could not afford to get out of town or to safety in Florida . Crucial supplies of blankets, hot cocoa, popcorn, gold jewelry, plasma TVs, Colt 45 and dark rum - so essential to surviving the stress of any major snowstorm - lay in stores....
...un-delivered.

"Where is the government? I need my sidewalk shoveled so I can get out to buy my lottery tickets!" said one Buffalo resident from his living room. "Why are we wasting money in Iraq when we could be spending it here on me?"

Progressive blogs blasted the President for his inaction. "We find the timing terribly suspicious - just as the North Korean sanctions kick into high gear, what happens? A major northeast Blizzard. Why now?" wrote one blogger.

Hearings into the Blizzards' effect on hearings are almost a certainty. Howard Dean has suggested he will call for an investigation once his new medications kick in and John Kerry took a break from his vacation in Aspen to call for new legislation outlawing snowstorms. "The Republican Congress has dropped the ball once again. I have always been a staunch supporter of anti-snow legislation, except for certain locations where I ski. Snow has no business on our roads and the President and Congress know that."

Calls for impe ach ment over "SnowGate" as some are calling it already are mounting as deeply as the snow itself, and what will be discovered underneath will prove to have a truly chilling effect on the Republicans, as the inevitable thaw proceeds.

This just in... More breaking news...Jesse Jackson wants an investigation as to why snow is ALWAYS white.

It is reported that Dick Cheney has stock in Tru-Value Hardware. Do you have any idea how many SNOW SHOVELS they sold today to the unsuspecting consumer?

The American people will demand to know why FEMA has been so late in reacting to this storm. THEY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT WAS COMING! And yet they failed to have crews in place to fix the electricity as soon as it went off. It just shows that Bush and the Republicans just don't care about the people in the Northeast. The Senate needs to
investigate this with administration personnel under oath.

We speculate that the great junior senator from N.Y. has opened the doors of her Long Island mansion to all of the heatless poor of her neighborhood and is busy baking cookies for them while her husband applies body heat to the nearly frozen teen-aged girls

Waitin' for Liza Jane to finish her note, eh?

Good Morning Everyone.. hope the day turns out as you wish... and that goes for all of you regardless of political leanings. What matters is the country. Lets just hope the country wins and can begin the healing.

Politicians and ideologues come and go. The United States of America is forever.

"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it."
- Mark Twain

"The most important political office is that of private citizen."
- Louis Brandeis

"There is no gravity - the world sucks"
-Anonymouse

"Dogs will never be smart enough to use something like a litter box, except as a source of snacks"
-flydangler

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.. The wo rld is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets t o invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Great to see you back, Des...

joe e

Remember the good old days?


Milk came in bottles and was delivered to your door


Cars were classy


And voting could be done without the help of prognosticators, pundits and lawyers, eh?


IAC I was able to vote for candidates in four different parties today!

I'll bet I know which Republican you voted for!

Me too, on all counts- pulling hard for the future-assemblyman Randy "Noonan" Koehn!

Luvya2,
WS

Moi?

ws, come to chat?

Lotta good it did him though, eh? Methinks 'twon't take long for folks to realize what a disappointment Sheldon Whitehouse'll be.

Might be there was some reports of shenanigans that Dems pulled here that'll be comin' out in the next couple days. Chafee's already said he won't contest the election in the courts 'cause of that or anything else though, and methinks that's just the kind of guy he is. He'll probably be just as happy to go back to shoein' horses for a livin' 'cause he's really too nice a guy for politics.

Looks like all the Dems I voted for won. The other two (one independent and one Cool Moose party) both lost big though.

Appears Rhode Islanders screwed the Narragansett Indian tribe again too. Hope the tribe goes ahead and presses their lawsuit now and wins back the southern third of the state since the white man broke the treaty again, eh? Talk 'bout short sighted swamp yankees! That might affect the region Snuffy visits.

My little Bro wins!

Wonderful news !


As of right now it looks as if N. is in a dead heat. Not all precincts have reported in, though.
Vet gave me the link and I am sure he will share via PM- or I will. They sure have been slow to report up there.

well looks like not to good of news for N. looks like a recount
District 89 (92%)
N. 8,825
R. John Nygren (Recount) 10,237

http://thewheelerreport.com/lxn06/novgeneral/assembly4.htm

(edit of name to N. -
for benefit of N., until we hear otherwise,
N. is our man)

Good find, Vet.

N 10,016
R. John Nygren (Recount) 11,848

like we don't all know this

Good morning everyone!
(or what ever 'tis where ever you is, eh?)

They're workin' on the transformer just outside the house, but methinks I might get this done before we lose power again.

Good news and bad news from last night, with some still yet to come. At least 'twould seem, notwithstandin' a little "help" Webb probably neither wanted or needed, Red Bird's wish for VA may come true, eh? Good!

IAC, 'tis off to our Girl Scout council headquarters to try to get some stuff done.

Well, here's hopin' the weather's great where ever y'all are at! Enjoy the day, be safe, stay well and remember to play nice!

Outstanding!!!!!

Now to go find out about locals...

Hi all.

How did Noonan do?

Cardinal -- Who is little brother?

wheew what a night. We spent a lot of time and energy working or Hodes and Carol Shea-Porter as well as Deval Patrick over the past few months. Feels good to win one for a change. Shea-Porter is an upset. In the beginning her campaign consisted of sending out email chain letters. I predict Sununu will start to tap into his inner liberal. I do worry about too much economic growth in Massachusetts (I think Patricks victory will result in that).

look at my post, link for noonan not good

Jeez--. Now he has supporters and experience so if this doesnt work out I hope he keeps it up.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer,
"Honey, I can't do both!"


"OLD" IS WHEN.....

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

When you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

"Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

"Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

An "all nighter" means not getting up to pee

Women are like apples on trees The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Share this with women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked!

Now Men.... Men are like! a fine wine . They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.