http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/o...0,3388558.story
Candidates think outside the box with unconventional running mates
By David Martin
August 15, 2008
With Sen. Barack Obama retaining a slight lead in the polls, Sen. John McCain today threw caution to the wind and made one of the most audacious running-mate choices in American political history. Seeking to gain the most media exposure bang for the buck, the Arizona senator and presumptive Republican presidential nominee has asked Ronald Reagan to join his ticket.
"I carefully considered all the possible candidates," said Mr. McCain. "And it was clear to me that Reagan beat them all, hands down. None of these guys today can hold a candle to the Gipper, dead or alive."
When questioned about Ronald Reagan's current breathing abilities, Senator McCain became visibly annoyed and reacted angrily.
"Yeah, duh, he's dead," said Mr. McCain. "So frigging what? He's going to be the vice president. It's not like we're asking him to do anything productive."
Further questioned about the constitutional hurdles his choice in the veepstakes faces, Mr. McCain turned a beet red and exploded at the assembled press corps.
"Read the document," shouted Mr. McCain. "Where in the Constitution does it say that the vice president has to be living? As far as I know, all he has to be is a native-born American who's at least 35 years old. Done and done."
At great personal risk, one reporter dared ask the senator about whether or not Mr. Reagan had agreed to run as vice president. Mr. McCain's aides physically restrained him from pulling a gun on the reporter as he screamed his reply.
"Of course he agreed," yelled Mr. McCain. "Do you think I'd be announcing his addition to the ticket if he didn't agree? Haven't you ever heard of the concept that silence implies consent? Well I think most people have, and when I put the question to Ronnie, he was about as silent as you can get."
The addition of Mr. Reagan to the Republican ticket is expected to buttress Mr. McCain's support among several key demographic groups, including Florida seniors, Reagan Democrats and the legion of dead voters in select Chicago precincts.
To counter Mr. McCain's surprise move, Barack Obama made his own unconventional choice for a vice presidential running mate: himself.
"That's right," said Senator Obama. "After vetting the short list of potential Democrats, it was blindingly obvious that I was by far the most qualified."
When questioned about the impossibility of succeeding himself as president if he dies in office, Mr. Obama assured American voters that in the unlikely event that he did die, he could just about guarantee a resurrection by the third day.
David Martin is an Ottawa humor writer. His blog can be found at www.davespoliticalsatire.blogspot.com.
Which one is gay?
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/8/1.../517/485/569037
DEM Veepstakes: One Woman's Misery
by CTPatriot
Sat Aug 16, 2008 at 05:42:11 PM PDT
Diary authored by my good friend, "WLBD", who is new to DailyKos and has to wait a week before she can post a diary herself. This was too good a diary to keep the world waiting...
Enough already! Put me out of my misery!! If I read one more word about the Democratic veepstakes, I may go blind. If I hear one more word about it, I may go deaf. If I keep obsessing about it, I may go insane!
CTPatriot's diary :: ::
Every week or so, someone new tops the "Most Likely" list from this cast of characters frequently or infrequently mentioned: Joe Biden, Evan Bayh, Tim Kaine, Wes Clark, Jack Reed, Kathleen Sebelius, Bill Richardson, Chris Dodd, Ted Strickland, Brian Schweitzer, Bob Casey, Ed Rendell, Chuck Hagel, Janet Napolitano, Ken Salazar, Michael Bloomberg, Bob Graham, General Eric Shinsecki, John Kerry, Al Gore, John Podesta, Federico Pena, Leon Panetta and, last but not least, Hillary Clinton. Then there’s Nancy Pelosi’s favorite, Texas Congressman Chet Edwards (though his last name is out of favor right now). I’ve even heard CT Governor Jodi Rell mentioned! Jim Webb and Mark Warner said no. John Edwards is resoundingly out. The uber-progressive Feingold has zero chance. East, West, North and South, yet undoubtedly I have even forgotten others.
Beginning on August 25th, each night of the Democratic National Convention has a theme: Monday-ONE NATION; Tuesday-RENEWING AMERICA’S PROMISE; Wednesday-SECURING AMERICA’S FUTURE; and Thursday-CHANGE YOU CAN BELIEVE IN. The winner of the VP sweepstakes speaks Wednesday, and did I mention that Wes Clark’s PAC is called "WesPAC-Securing America’s Future"? So many choices, so many positives, so many negatives, so many considerations, so much waiting around and wondering. Perhaps Caroline Kennedy will simply pull a Cheney and select herself.
Some voted for the war; others opposed it from the start. Some are long-time Washington Insiders; others fit well with Obama’s call for change and a New Politics in Washington. Some are strong on national security and/or have a military background. Several are bland and wimpy; a few would be strong attack dogs on the campaign trail. Some are more progressive than Obama (excellent!); others are even more centrist (god forbid!) One is a card-carrying conservative with a smart position on Iraq. Many are pro gun; some are anti-choice. One is rumored to be a bigtime womanizer (do we really want another one of those in the White House?) while another is rumored to be gay (shhh... don't ask, don't tell). Some might help carry a Red State. Some feel right at home in the DLC (god forbid again!) Some would cause the calamitous loss of a U.S. Senate seat (god forbid one final time!) Are VP’s supposed to fade into the background or effectively challenge their president (as Obama says he wants)? Who could best step up to the Big Job if need be?
END IT...MAKE IT BE OVER!! I’m ready to cry Uncle!!! Of course, I signed up for the Obama campaign’s "Be The First To Know" notification so that I would find out at the very moment the decision was ready for prime time. A tiny pie-in-the-sky part of me dares to dream that Barack will come up with an amazing running mate who has been on no one’s list! The realist in me imagines a more pragmatic conversation with our nominee-apparent: "Senator Obama, I implore you to make this damned announcement already so that I can begin practicing to embrace your choice."
I doubt that his choice will be one of my top picks, so I’ll need some time to MoveOn from obsession to acceptance. Until then, maybe I’ll try counting backwards from 9,579,381,575,934 (our current National Debt). Or maybe I’ll just eat a lot of ice cream to pass the time.
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/8/1.../517/485/569037
DEM Veepstakes: One Woman's Misery
by CTPatriot
Sat Aug 16, 2008 at 05:42:11 PM PDT
Diary authored by my good friend, "WLBD", who is new to DailyKos and has to wait a week before she can post a diary herself. This was too good a diary to keep the world waiting...
Enough already! Put me out of my misery!! If I read one more word about the Democratic veepstakes, I may go blind. If I hear one more word about it, I may go deaf. If I keep obsessing about it, I may go insane!
CTPatriot's diary :: ::
Every week or so, someone new tops the "Most Likely" list from this cast of characters frequently or infrequently mentioned: Joe Biden, Evan Bayh, Tim Kaine, Wes Clark, Jack Reed, Kathleen Sebelius, Bill Richardson, Chris Dodd, Ted Strickland, Brian Schweitzer, Bob Casey, Ed Rendell, Chuck Hagel, Janet Napolitano, Ken Salazar, Michael Bloomberg, Bob Graham, General Eric Shinsecki, John Kerry, Al Gore, John Podesta, Federico Pena, Leon Panetta and, last but not least, Hillary Clinton. Then there’s Nancy Pelosi’s favorite, Texas Congressman Chet Edwards (though his last name is out of favor right now). I’ve even heard CT Governor Jodi Rell mentioned! Jim Webb and Mark Warner said no. John Edwards is resoundingly out. The uber-progressive Feingold has zero chance. East, West, North and South, yet undoubtedly I have even forgotten others.
Beginning on August 25th, each night of the Democratic National Convention has a theme: Monday-ONE NATION; Tuesday-RENEWING AMERICA’S PROMISE; Wednesday-SECURING AMERICA’S FUTURE; and Thursday-CHANGE YOU CAN BELIEVE IN. The winner of the VP sweepstakes speaks Wednesday, and did I mention that Wes Clark’s PAC is called "WesPAC-Securing America’s Future"? So many choices, so many positives, so many negatives, so many considerations, so much waiting around and wondering. Perhaps Caroline Kennedy will simply pull a Cheney and select herself.
Some voted for the war; others opposed it from the start. Some are long-time Washington Insiders; others fit well with Obama’s call for change and a New Politics in Washington. Some are strong on national security and/or have a military background. Several are bland and wimpy; a few would be strong attack dogs on the campaign trail. Some are more progressive than Obama (excellent!); others are even more centrist (god forbid!) One is a card-carrying conservative with a smart position on Iraq. Many are pro gun; some are anti-choice. One is rumored to be a bigtime womanizer (do we really want another one of those in the White House?) while another is rumored to be gay (shhh... don't ask, don't tell). Some might help carry a Red State. Some feel right at home in the DLC (god forbid again!) Some would cause the calamitous loss of a U.S. Senate seat (god forbid one final time!) Are VP’s supposed to fade into the background or effectively challenge their president (as Obama says he wants)? Who could best step up to the Big Job if need be?
END IT...MAKE IT BE OVER!! I’m ready to cry Uncle!!! Of course, I signed up for the Obama campaign’s "Be The First To Know" notification so that I would find out at the very moment the decision was ready for prime time. A tiny pie-in-the-sky part of me dares to dream that Barack will come up with an amazing running mate who has been on no one’s list! The realist in me imagines a more pragmatic conversation with our nominee-apparent: "Senator Obama, I implore you to make this damned announcement already so that I can begin practicing to embrace your choice."
I doubt that his choice will be one of my top picks, so I’ll need some time to MoveOn from obsession to acceptance. Until then, maybe I’ll try counting backwards from 9,579,381,575,934 (our current National Debt). Or maybe I’ll just eat a lot of ice cream to pass the time.
ENOUGH ALREADY!!! I AGREE!!! 
And I am NOT McCain's "FRIEND". That's rather presumptuous isn't it?
And who prepped him for this anyway? I don't believe that they had McCain in a box where no one could get to during the "Values" conference. HE knew exactly what answers to give, so someone told him the questions.
And I am NOT McCain's "FRIEND". That's rather presumptuous isn't it?
And who prepped him for this anyway? I don't believe that they had McCain in a box where no one could get to during the "Values" conference. HE knew exactly what answers to give, so someone told him the questions.
Okay, I can't take any more of this crazy campaign today. I'm going to go watch "the bucket list" and listen to all of Graham's recommendations on music.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.